


Only in Nightmares

by DyslexicSquirrel



Series: Stony Bingo 2019 [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Infinity War and Engame didn’t happen, M/M, Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, just go with me here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-08-10 10:34:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20134045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DyslexicSquirrel/pseuds/DyslexicSquirrel
Summary: “You okay?” Hearing Steve’s voice and feeling the hand his husband pressed to his back helped ground him.“Nightmare,” he said, voice hoarse like he’d been screaming.





	Only in Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> Stony Bingo fill (square T3)  
Prompt: Just for once everyone lives
> 
> LITERALLY no one is dead (except bad guys obvs cause fuck them—and well Peggy cause she was old in the present and death comes for all of us in old age except Betty White) 
> 
> This is not Ultron compliant because of one notable change (which will become evident when you read).
> 
> This is not Civil War compliant because... well, you’ll see. I don’t want to give spoilers to my own damn fic.
> 
> For the purposes of this, though, INFINITY WARS AND ENDGAME DID BOT HAPPEN. More about that in the notes at the end.

Tony woke up gasping, clutching at his chest. It felt tight and his skin was clammy. He sat up, gulping in air. 

“You okay?” Hearing Steve’s voice and feeling the hand his husband pressed to his back helped ground him. 

“Nightmare,” he said, voice hoarse like he’d been screaming. He couldn’t have been though, because Steve would have woken up as soon as he made a noise. The bed shifted and then Steve was wrapping his arms around him. Tony let his head fall against his shoulder. 

“You want to talk about it?” 

“Not—not right now.” Maybe never that had been… worse than any nightmare he’d ever had. Worse than the ones after Afghanistan, after the Chitauri, after Sokovia. 

“Okay,” Steve said, voice low and soothing, one hand rubbing up and down his arm. That was the thing with Steve, he never pushed for more than Tony was capable of giving. He was patient, waiting for when or if Tony was ready to open up. That had been one of the worst parts of the nightmare—he and Steve weren’t together. The world, hell the damn universe, was in danger and they weren’t together. People—everyone it had felt like—had died and he couldn’t help that feeling of ‘If Steve and I were facing this together this wouldn’t be happening.’ That they would have won before… before lines had been crossed, people sacrificed. 

But it hadn’t been real. He still clutched at Steve anyway, the remnants of watching the life he had crumble still clinging to his mind. 

“You’re alright, Tony. I’ve got you.” Steve said the words and Tony believed them. They had faced so much and come out the other side. The Accords had almost destroyed them, but they came together in the end. 

“What are you doing here?” Steve had asked Tony when he showed up after Peggy’s funeral. 

“I knew her, you know. Peggy. I don’t know if I ever told you that. Her and my dad were friends, but I’m sure you knew that much.” Tony had looked away, to the front of the church, the silence seeming to echo. Finally he sighed, looked back at Steve who was frowning. “You asked what would happen if the panel wanted to send us somewhere we didn’t want to go or there was somewhere we needed to be that they wouldn’t let us?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Then we make them listen,” Tony told him fiercely in a quiet voice, gripping Steve’s arm. “I don’t think there’s anything we can’t accomplish together, but Steve… we have to  _ be _ together.” He had hardly ever called him Steve then, he and Pepper had just broken up and there had always been something simmering between he and Steve; calling him anything other than Cap or some slightly insulting nickname had felt like too much. He swallowed and took a step back. “Just promise me you’ll think about it? We’ll help Barnes, we’ll do what we need to do, but think about it before you do anything that can’t be taken back.” 

Steve had looked away and Tony had taken it as a dismissal. “Tony.” He looked back at Steve over his shoulder. The other man was standing straight, shoulders back in that proud stance Tony both hated and adored. “I’ll think about it...” 

Steve had signed and with him Wanda, but the whole Barnes situation had almost blown up in their face, too. Zemo had almost gotten his way, but he and Natasha had convinced Steve to not try to do it alone and Steve had agreed as long as Bucky got to come along. 

“The WSO agreed to not lock him up in a very deep prison with very thick walls now that we know he wasn’t responsible for the bombing, but there’s no way—”

Steve cut him off. “I almost didn’t bring him back in. But I thought about what you said. Together, right? Well, this is his fight, too, Tony. Not to mention no one knows that facility or the training those other soldiers got better than he does.” 

Tony’s eyes cut to Barnes who was very quiet. Tony wanted nothing more than to bury Barnes in the ground after what Steve and Natasha had told him he’d done. “Do you even remember them?” 

Barnes’ jaw clenched, that metal arm of his whiting mechanically when his hand did the same, but he didn’t look away, didn’t try to hide from Tony’s anger. “No. But I wish I did. So I could apologize and mean it.” 

That more than anything had gotten through to him. “Suit up, we leave in five and we’ll deal with the fall out later,” he said harshly before leaving the room. 

And it was a good thing he knew before they walked into that base. Zemo tried to use it against them, to tear them apart. The video had been hard to watch. When Tony raised his gauntlet, he honestly hadn’t been sure if he was going to try and shoot Barnes or not. He hadn’t, though, because ultimately his parents and Barnes were both victims of Hydra. He shot Zemo instead right before T’Challa walked in. Tony had punched Barnes when the man tried to thank him later on the jet, but he figured he was due that. 

Things had been rocky for a few years after that. The Accords had done their job, but Steve had also been right. They’d had to fight on more than one occasion to go somewhere that had ultimately needed their help, but having Fury and T’Challa on their side? It had mostly worked out and even when it didn’t, they were still together. 

“What time is it?” 

Steve unwound one of his arms from around Tony to check his phone so he almost, almost, didn’t have time to miss it’s warmth. “Just after 5.” Tony made an unhappy noise at being awake so early and Steve chuckled. “You can go back to sleep for a few hours. Pepper’s doctor’s appointment isn’t until 8.” 

“Don’t think I can,” Tony said, but he was grumpy about it. 

“Let’s get you some coffee then,” Steve said, herding him out of bed and ignoring Tony’s grumbles. It was one of the rare days where Steve wasn’t on training rotation and there hadn’t been any news of a mission. Tony wanted to spend it in bed, but he also knew his husband and Steve would have been getting up to take his run with Sam soon anyway. 

They got dressed, though that was a relative term since ‘dressed’ meant ‘pajamas’ in this case. Tony had gotten more lax about what he wore this last year since he hung up his armor. He wasn’t getting any younger and he’d prefer to spend his time in the workshop making things for other people to use. Plus now with Pepper having the baby, Tony wanted more freedom in his schedule since she split her time between LA and New York with Stark Industries. 

“Are you sure you’re okay with this whole thing?” Tony turned to look at Steve as they made their way to the communal kitchen. 

Steve pulled a face. “If I wasn’t okay with it, I wouldn’t have told you I was. Besides, it's a little late now seeing as she’s eight months along.” 

“I know, I know. It’s just, I want to make sure. It’s kind of a big thing—your husband donating sperm to his ex so she can have a baby.” 

“You and I both know Pepper is more than just your ex, Tony,” Steve said over his shoulder as he started to make the coffee. 

Tony sat at the island. “That should make it  _ harder _ to handle, not easier. Are you sure Erskine didn’t completely grow you in a lab? No one is this good.” 

“She’s your family, Tony. And if she’s yours that means she’s mine. That's what this means.” He held up his left hand to show off his ring. “You help family, it’s what you do,” he said meaningfully and Tony had to look away because he knew Steve was talking about Barnes now. They weren’t good, the two of them. Tony didn’t think they ever would be, but he was Steve’s family and, yeah, he hadn’t put up a fuss when T’Challa had suggested Barnes going to Wakanda to try and fix what Hydra had done to his brain. 

“How’s Barnes liking those goats anyway?” It was the only acknowledgment to the gratitude on Steve’s face Tony was going to make. 

“There’s new babies.” Steve turned back to the coffee maker when it beeped. He took three mugs down from the cabinet and Tony frowned at that, but didn’t comment. He’s learned that sometimes it was better not to ask questions. “You know, if someone had told me back in Brooklyn that Bucky Barnes would be raising goats one day, I would have thought they were crazy.” 

“I bet.” Steve might not see Bucky all that often, but knowing he was safe and whole and happy made Steve happy and whatever made Steve happy was good with Tony, despite his own conflicted feelings. Maybe he did understand where Steve was coming from with the Pepper/baby situation. “Did I tell you Pepper’s having a girl?” 

“You did,” Steve said, carrying over the three mugs. He slid one towards Tony who took a grateful sip and held the other one out. It made sense a second later when Pietro slid into the kitchen. 

“Is that for me?” He asked with a big smile. Steve nodded, relinquishing the mug to him before picking up his own and Tony rolled his eyes. Damn super soldier hearing. 

“I will never get used to that,” he told Steve who shrugged. 

“Him and Wanda have been doing well with their training. And, yes, you did tell me that  _ you  _ and Pepper were having a girl.” Tony smiled, chagrined, and shrugged. It was still hard sometimes to admit that out loud to Steve. Steve placed a hand over Tony’s where it lay against the countertop. “I’m fine, Tony, I promise. It’s not like we’re going to have biological kids of our own. I have enough on my hands with the ones we keep taking in, between the twins and Peter and Harley now that he’s going to NYU.” 

“We got some good ones, don’t we?” 

“And we’ll have another one when your daughter is born. I’m okay being a stepdad.” 

Tony flipped his hand over to he could lace their fingers together and raised their interlocked hands together to place a kiss to the back of Steve’s. “What did I do to deserve you?” 

“Damned if I know.” 

“Language, Captain,” Tony said, sounding scandalized, making his eyes go comically wide. 

“You’re really never going to let me live that down, are you?” 

“Nope,” Tony replied happily, taking a sip of his coffee. Steve tugged his hand free so he could round the bar and slide onto a stool next to Tony. He looked serious, more serious than normal. “Uh-oh, are you asking for a divorce? I get Peter, you take the twins.” 

Steve rolled his eyes. “You wish you could get rid of me that easily, pal.” 

Tony never wanted to get rid of him and the fear that Steve might change his mind was always there no matter how many years of them being together passed. “I know there’s something you want to tell me. Out with it.” 

Steve took a deep breath. “I’m thinking about retiring.” 

Tony’s eyebrows shot up. “Captain America is allowed to do that?” 

“They can’t exactly force me to fight and, well, I think I’ve more than earned a break. I’d still want to work here, train the recruits, but…” 

Tony tilted his head, considering him. “Would you really be able to hang up the shield?” 

“That wasn’t really what I had in mind. I was thinking more about handing it off to someone else.” 

“Seriously?” 

“Sam would need a new suit.” 

“Wilson? Why him?” Not that he didn’t think Wilson could do it or that he didn’t like him, but… there were a lot of people Steve could ask, a whole compound full of recruits. 

“I think he can do it justice,” Steve told him softly. Steve had been carrying that mantle for so many years, even while he’d been frozen in the ice, that Tony didn’t really think he could ever understand what giving it up would mean. If he thought Wilson could do it then Wilson probably could. 

“Okay. If that’s what you want. I can give his wings a new paint job.” 

“What about my wings?” Sam asked, walking into the kitchen, dressed for a run. Because who else in the house had wings. 

“We’ll talk about it later,” Steve said, standing. He pressed a kiss to Tony’s temple. “I’ll be back in a second, Sam.” 

When Steve had left the kitchen, Sam leaned back against the counter, a mug full of coffee cradled between his hands. He tipped his head in the direction Steve had gone. “He okay?” 

“He will be.” Steve came back out a few minutes later, dressed in gym shorts and a tight t-shirt. Tony grabbed his hand when he walked passed to follow same out of the kitchen and outside. Steve raised his brows in question. “Have you ever thought about growing a beard?” 

“A beard? Can’t say that I had, no.” 

It was one of the things from his nightmare that hadn’t been completely awful. The other was his daughter. If his real kid was even half as amazing, he was going to be a lucky man. He also needed to suggest the name Morgan. Pepper had an uncle by that name if he remembered correctly so it wouldn’t be that weird. “Yeah,” he told Steve. “I mean if you’re retiring and all. Won’t have to worry about it throwing off the aesthetics of the suit.” 

Steve huffed in amusement. “I’ll think about it,” he said then pressed a kiss to Tony’s lips and left. Tony rubbed at his chest absently and sipped his coffee. That damn dream was still lingering. He got up to find his phone. He needed to call Peter to hear his voice. It was early, but he might be up. Then maybe he could track Natasha down. He just needed to reassure himself that everyone was fine and then he could relax. 

It had only been a nightmare. 

**Author's Note:**

> So, I could legitimately not think of a way to make no one die unless Endgame just... didn’t happen, and by extension Infinity War. Because of Thanos showed up to fuck shit up... well, yeah. Literally saw this as the only way to make no one dead. 
> 
> And I messed around with Civil War because 1) I don’t like what happened between Steve and Tony in CW and 2) if I left it as is, I would have had to figure out some way to make team Cap _not fucking fugitives_ and this seemed easier lol So the Accords got signed in this and the world eventually calmed down a bit about being scared of Wanda. In my fantasy land. 
> 
> If you have any questions about any of the other decisions I made in this, don’t hesitate to ask. 
> 
> I love comments (even if it’s constructive criticism) and kudos are always appreciated.


End file.
